“Punter TV” is Strictly Come Dancing, X Factor, and I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. Like fast food for the soul, I am overwhelmed by a temporary feel good factor, which will soon disappear and leave me feeling sick and full of self loathing.
As I tighten the belt around my arm, slap my vein and get further jacked up on Ant & Dec, MSG (from my takeaway), and my second bottle of Rioja, the worry that I might be damaging the spark in my synapses fades into a hazy blur.
I shouldn’t feel guilty about deleting parts of my massive brain. I wallow in the comfort that six million (current viewing figures) other people are also destroying their brains, and the other 54 million are probably out binge drinking. I promise myself that next week I will read a book instead.