Christmas is Coming – The goats are off to Africa

Last year, with my blessing, Mum bought me an African goat, not actually for me you understand, but to help a poor African farmer. I didn’t even get a thank you goat note. I trust the farmer made best use of it and enjoyed many a baked goats cheese souffle with piquant red onion and not wasted it on just providing milk for his family and stuff.

“Another goat for Christmas this year, to add to the herd?” Asked mother.

“Charity begins at home this year Mum, I have just moved into my new house remember? So unless that goat knows how to renovate old floors boards, plaster and build a loft conversion then frankly I am not interested”*

Maybe I can send the farmer a gift list this year? The brochure would read – This year there are many struggling corporate workers in the UK, house prices have gone through the roof, do your bit to help them, can you do one of the following:-

Build a 56” TV from goats shit and rain water?

Build an espresso maker from mud and bamboo?

Build an American style fridge from a dried up well and a goats skull?

I look forward to your gifts

*I am not a heartless shit and have done my bit this year raising £3000 for the British Heart Foundation. No goats or African farmers were hurt in the writing of this post.

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